We all have unmet wants and needs, however, it can be difficult for people living with dementia to let loved ones know what they need with ease.
This is why it is important for loved ones to pick up on the ways their loved one living with dementia tries to express themselves and pick up on their personal expression cues.
People living with dementia express their needs and wants either verbally, nonverbally or behaviourally in ways that we may not always understand; these behaviours are a way of trying to communicate unmet needs.
So, what are unmet needs?
Unmet needs are typically:
- Being in pain
- Being hungry or thirsty
- Needing the bathroom but being unable to locate it
- Constipation
- Boredom or understimulation
- Over stimulation
- Needing comfort
When your person is distressed, you need to become a detective to figure out what they need based on their behaviour.
You know your person best and know how they reacted to things in the past, which is why being thoughtful during the process of elimination to figure out the problem is vital.
Below are a few examples of situations that could arise for a person living with dementia - of course, every person’s journey will be different.
Walking around, opening and closing doors and looking more upset
Perhaps they are looking for the toilet, or maybe the kitchen if they are hungry or thirsty.
It can be helpful to keep track of when your person goes to the bathroom or has something to eat or drink to help you narrow down what they need at the moment in question.
Helping them get dressed and they are shouting and hitting out
If your person has a painful medical condition like arthritis, but isn’t prescribed regular pain relief, then they may be in pain when they are touched or move a certain way.
Even if they don’t have a painful medical condition, they may have slept awkwardly or injured themselves which is causing them pain.
Having regular pain medication prescribed by their GP can really help.
Getting dressed can also be overstimulating for some people if they find certain materials, textures or sensations difficult to tolerate. Changing the material of clothing, or wearing clothes that fit a different way can sometimes help.
Shouting for their mum
Hearing your loved one shouting out for their mum can be extremely difficult, especially if the person gets more and more distressed if they can’t find their mum.
People have different opinions about what the best thing to do in these situations is, wondering if they should tell their person their mum has passed away, or that their mum has popped out for a bit and will be back soon.
KareHero’s dementia care expert Viki Bagnall says she tries to look at it another way, by thinking about what their mum means to them, you could likely think of ways to help them.
“For example, for many people their mum represents love, comfort and happiness; what if by asking for their mum the person is actually asking for these things?
“If your person is asking for their mum, you can offer them physical comfort, have a chat about their parents and happy memories or make a meal that reminds them of childhood or is comforting.
“You could also write down their stories about their past for them to look at in the future.”
Being a detective is an important caregiving skill and necessary tool.
Patience, persistence and trial and error can reduce the challenges in your loved one’s behaviour and improve the quality of life for both of you.